Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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