it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
