im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Randomize
