Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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