My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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