Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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