oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
