Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
