I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
