she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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