My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
