So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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