hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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