Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
