THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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