i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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