dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
