I got chris browned last night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
