im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
