Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
