I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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