I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So vagazzling was a success
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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