I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You're like the curious george of whores
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
