But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
