He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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