dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We need to rekindle our bromance
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
