he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
