Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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