Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
