Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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