I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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