why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
