I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
