That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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