I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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