Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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