hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
