Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
