Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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