I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
