she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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