She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
