I'm really into asian looking animals
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
