Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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