he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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