Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
