There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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