thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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