yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
