and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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