Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
