ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
